Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
