I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize