I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
