she was so not down for the gang bang
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
