I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
