Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
if only i could text you this smell
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
