I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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