this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
