Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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