after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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