You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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