All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
