just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
