Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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