After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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