Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
