I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
