My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
