strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
