everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize