never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Farmville is her only friend.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
