Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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