Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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