So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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