bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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