I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
