"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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