Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
