I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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