Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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