dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
