were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
