No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
