can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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