i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
