Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
