Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
