Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
