Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
