You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
