so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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