Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
