I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
