why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
