I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize