There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
