I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
