her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
