the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
