Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
