I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do vagina's smell?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
