The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it's great music for shaving your balls
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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