god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
