I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
