I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
