Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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