just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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