Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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