Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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