her vagine was all disorganized.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
