Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
