Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
