I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Can i not drive my cunt home
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
