Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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