I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
