I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
