Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
