What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
