and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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