How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just high enough for therapy.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
