Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
