I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dear god my vagina.
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