Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
