That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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