Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
